…are knackered. 
They’re Sebago Docksiders, almost 16 years old. They have been fantastically comfortable shoes.
They’ve been soaked (often hanging off boats) in The Pacific, Atlantic & Indian; drenched in The Mediterranean, North, Caribbean, Red, Arabian & South China Seas; awash in the Gulfs of Oman, California, Genoa, Mexico, Persia & Carpentaria.
They’ve wandered (rarely far, admittedly) around The Alps, The Pyrenees, The Rockies, The Cairngorms, the Antolian Mountains, The Dolomites, The Beacons, The High Atlas, The Peloponnese & The Troodos Mountains…
They’ve tramped across dunes and plains in The Namib, The Kalahari, The Kgalaghadi, The Sahara, The Arabian, The Colorado and The Mojave deserts
In the same day they’ve walked across salt pans in Death Valley (the 2nd lowest point in the Northern Hemisphere) and been soaked in snow on Mt Whitney (4,421m high) in The Sierra Nevada.
They’ve been bled on, sweated on, puked on, slobbered on, crapped on and peed on (all but one by me).
They’ve been stolen by dogs in the Western Sahara and lost in card games.
They’ve been re-stitched by beggars in Rwanda, apprentices in Uganda, and wood carvers in Malawi.
They’ve squelched through hippo, rhino & elephant dung, almost tripped over lion spoor and fallen (with me) up to my knees in the soak-away from composting toilets on the Nyika Plateau.
They’ve wandered Broadway and Ocean Drive, taken the Star Ferry across Hong Kong harbour, dined at the top of The Twin Towers, strolled streets of Paris, Rome, Amsterdam, Milan, Hollywood, The Vatican, Dublin, Monaco, New York, Venice, Athens, Ephesus, Pompeii, visited Pullian Trullis, The Giant’s Causeway, the Catacombs of Paris, The Palace of Westminster, Big Sur, Checkpoint Charlie, The Louvre, The Alamo and been on stage at The London Palladium
They’ve attended The Ryder Cup, Ashes Cricket, Chelsea v Arsenal derbys, the Red Sox v The New York Yankees World Series, numerous F1 Grand Prix, mountain climbs of the Tour de France, Clemson v Duke American football, New York Knicks basketball, Cowes week & Antigua Week Regattas, the London Olympic road cycling, the World Waterskiing Championships and numerous dance festivals with my daughter Charlie.
They’ve not done too bad at all. In fact, they are outstanding shoes. But they’re probably now beyond repair and becoming a bit of an embarrassment – despite still being incredibly comfortable.
All that just leaves me with a double quandary: what to do about the Land Rover AND what to do about my Sebago Docksiders?
